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Do you ever feel like you’ve gotten stuck in a rut? Maybe with your job? Or maybe just with life in general?

Honestly, we’ve all felt that way before… but a new one that has been brought to my attention is ruts in relationship; specifically friendships.

Although, to be fair, it may not really qualify as a ‘rut’, per se, because you may not be feeling the blues over it. I don’t have a better word to describe it, but it happens to all of us I think.

I was asked to share what I would be taking away from all of this- this COVID-19, stay at home, isolate, etc. I was thinking about something that I specifically want to remember. Yes, it’s good to be reminded that relationship is important, that our jobs can command too much of our time when they take us away from family, etc., and etc. But. I really wanted to dig deeper for myself and decide what would I, Sarah Heckendorn, really be taking away from this?

When our state first started with the shutdown, not much had changed in my life. All working members in our household were considered “essential” so life was pretty normal for a while. The only thing that changed at work was not getting to go through the usual routine- the bible studies gathering, the quick wave to the ladies as they walked past my window, the usual phone calls asking questions about services and such. I missed that, but I still got to see the other office staff on a regular basis (as we kept our safe distance!). It wasn’t until just a bit ago when we cut our hours that things really changed. Suddenly, I was working from home most days of the week. When I was at the office, not everyone else was there (or perhaps only there for a quick bit). I definitely started to feel the effects of all of this on a new level.

To be completely honest, it hit pretty hard.  And even more so, considering there are some who have been doing this for months already. I felt a new pain and understanding in my heart from all of this, for everything that everyone is going through. All the angles and sides and it’s… it’s overwhelming isn’t it?

However, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my few years on this earth, it’s that when something not so great is happening in the world or in your life, God is faithful to give reminders of His goodness and blessings. One such reminder came through a conversation with an unexpected individual.

It was a Tuesday a couple weeks ago. I was by myself at the office and someone needed to come grab a mask that our amazing SIS ladies had made. I got one for them and then ended up getting into a long conversation. Nothing incredibly serious… we talked some about the state of the world and such, but th

en we talked of other things. We stood outside (more than 6’ apart!) and just talked. It may not have been the most spectacular thing in the world, but I think we’ve all been learning through this that it doesn’t take the ‘spectacular’ to make something great or good.

After our half hour long conversation ended, I popped back into the office with a little more spring in my step. It had been really great getting to visit for a bit. To have a fun conversation about all sorts of things (particularly shooting competitions! Haha!), and just ‘be’ for a while. Life felt a little more normal in that moment. A little less chaotic. But the thing I realized the most was how cool it was to talk with someone I don’t normally get to.

This brought a thought to my mind… how many times have I simply been in a ‘friend rut’? Not that this is a bad place to be, by any means. I get so used to seeing my dear friends at church, though, that I forget to go and visit with someone new. Maybe someone I’ve been sitting behind in church for weeks on end and have only done a handshake with them. Or that person that you only see in passing in between services. Either way, how many little blessings have I perhaps missed out on by getting to know and meet the other amazing people in our congregation?

It’s such a blessing to get to gather and worship with all my fellow brothers and sister on a Sunday morning… and right now, it’s been tough to have to do it virtually. But if there’s one thing I’m really looking forward to when we all meet up again, it’s getting to actually talk to everyone there. To meet the folks that I’ve simply smiled at in passing. To make all the new friendships I possibly can- even if they don’t turn into lifelong ones. Because, let’s face it. It’s hard sometimes to make time for our old friends, let alone new ones…but that shouldn’t stop me from still trying. Just a fifteen minute conversation here and there to get to know other members of the body. I’m excited to actually implement this when we gather back together.

When if first met my cantankerous neighbor, (I will call him “M”), he told me that at 17, his mom said she’d done all she could and his relationship with God was up to him. He proudly shared that was the last he had anything to do with God. Since then I have learned how confrontational and outspoken he is. In spite of that, or because of it, God has laid it on my heart to pay attention to this neighbor. So when Pastor Frank challenged me to demonstrate God’s love to M and his wife, I went to my fall back strategy - cooking!

A few days into the Stay-at-Home order, I met M outside in my driveway and he said he couldn’t get through these times without fruitcake, something I bake for my neighbors around Christmas every year. Then another friend emailed about her Christmas time “pantry challenge” in April! After considering Pastor Frank's encouragement, M's comment about fruitcake, and my neighbor's pantry challenge it seemed God was calling me to something. So, I went to my pantry I discovered I had everything except one ingredient for fruitcake, which I was able to procure! I made 20 loaves; the bounty of God’s provision!

Shortly after I sent out the following text to my neighbors:
 
All Good Gifts Come from God! One of our neighbors said he couldn’t get through these times without my fruitcake so when my friend suggested a pantry challenge I decided to make my Christmas Fruitcake, and started baking! When you least expect it and really don’t deserve it, God provides good gifts! So if you are willing to accept fruitcake as Christmas in April, or as an early May Day gift, or just a plain gift from me to you to let you know I am praying for you, my neighbors, text me back and I will leave fruitcake for you on my rain barrel today!

While M's response to this message was discouraging, God had something else in mind and used his request for fruitcake for the good of another! My other neighbor, C and I had the following texting conversation:
 
C said, "Thank you, Kari I just finished with a rough day when I saw your message and want to thank you for the message and for the fruit cake offer. Sure, I’d love one. I’m a big fan too! Work is feeling very difficult and thankless right now. But your text reminded me about all the things to be grateful for right now, so the timing was perfect. And I’ll come get the fruitcake! Thank you!!"
 
God is so, so very GOOD! I wrote a blog article a couple of weeks ago about isolation. We have to be extra careful because we are high risk and I have been feeling sorry for myself. God gave me a view of what frustrations are happening for people who are working in thankless jobs and how I am not alone in my feelings AND how I have MUCH to be grateful for!! God always does more than I expect - my prayer is to learn to see/expect the greatness of God!
 
I am anxiously waiting to see what God has in mind for the other fruitcakes!

Kari

At a time like this, it is hard to see things in a normal way. It is hard to act normal, feel normal, establish a normal routine…

It is tempting at times to panic and complain about our circumstances. But in reality there are many blessings to be found and opportunities to take advantage of during this unprecedented time in our lives. Our family is taking our opportunity in the form of concentrating on family togetherness, learning to control our pace of life (instead of letting life control our pace for once!), and reaching out to our loved ones to tell them how much they are missed and how much they mean to us.

So often we find ourselves wishing and praying to God for certain things…. things like more family time, less pressure to work or get things done, for things to slow down, or an opportunity to intentionally reset ourselves. We have prayed for all these things in our family and have found this unique season to be a surprising blessing. It has brought us closer together, made us work through issues differently, made us reach out to loved ones that we miss, grown our relationships in our community, and has made us even more grateful for the things that we can still do- and are looking forward to doing again. All of this is happening in the midst of this hard time of uncertainty.

Now this is not because we have things all figured out or because we are home-bodies, but because this has also been a unique opportunity of reflection for us. This pandemic has given us the time to reflect not only on our lives but on our Lord and His character and His goodness even when things around us are fluctuating day by day. We look to His Word to know Him, be reminded of who He is, and find the comfort He offers through scripture regardless of our circumstances:

God is constant

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. ~Hebrews 13:8

God is good

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. ~James 1:17  

God is in control

For in Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. ~Colossians 1:16-17

We are His

Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. All who have this hope in Him purify themselves, just as He is pure. ~1 John 3:2-3

We can be thankful

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ~1Thessalonians 5:18

We will benefit

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:28

Our prayer is this: however this season of life finds you- flourishing or struggling, steady or wavering –that you will be reminded that it is just a season. And in this season we can express gratitude for so many things: generosity, creativity, sacrifice, resourcefulness, endurance, leadership… even the blessing of a new outlook on life once things regain normality. We pray that you likewise are finding that learning to be content with less is one of the keys to a happy life.

“We will not begin to live more fully until we have the courage to do and see and taste and experience much less than usual.”
—Thomas Merton, Trappist monk and religion scholar

The church body is an incredible picture of Christ.  We often hear the phrase the church is the “hands & feet of Christ” but what part do each of us play in connecting to the body?  Each one of us has something unique to offer, let’s come together to share what we can bring to the table!

Here are some practical and spiritual things we’ve done to stay connected with friends, family, neighbors and our church family since the quarantine started:

• Take a deep breath, embrace the change & allow yourself to feel. For many people change is scary, daunting and tiring because it presents so many unknowns.  For others, change is great and presents opportunities to try new things (face masks, gloves, social distancing etc.) and stirs a sense of exploration.
• Taking as many times as necessary to simply pause & reflect on the process of where we were to where we are now is healthy and allows people to process at their own pace. Often, I find myself writing things down as a way to acknowledge the change as well to mark its passing.  It helps me remember that life on this side of heaven is a constant process of sanctification & that is NOT something new or unknown. It’s comforting as things continue to change.
  

"It helps me remember that life

on this side of heaven is a constant process

of sanctification & that is NOT something new

or unknown."

• When I am feeling lonely and needing some extrovert time/engagement, I find it refreshing to pick up the phone & call the person that I was thinking about.  How often do we say “I was just thinking about you yesterday” and not do anything with those thoughts?  In times where physical contact is hard, it’s imperative that we are intentional about taking the initiative and acting on that initiative.  In other words, when someone comes to mind, pick up the phone & call them.  If not right away, make a physical note to remind yourself to do it later.  Set a reminder on your phone to remind yourself.  This is a way to train your mind and habits to put action behind the thoughts.  Not only will it bless you, but it’ll surely bless the person you are talking to.  It also is a way to hear prayer requests and to build a closer bond by praying for one another.

"Communing with the Lord is a precious time

and brings TONS of comfort to my soul

when I’m struggling with the loneliness."

• I dedicate time to pray for people that the Lord brings to mind.  This helps me connect by connecting with the Lord through prayer.  Often I know what to pray for, but I don’t have updated prayer request info. The cool thing is that God fills in those gaps so we can just take our prayers to him and He knows the missing details. Communing with the Lord is a precious time and brings TONS of comfort to my soul when I’m struggling with the loneliness.
• We’ve done some drive-by’s for people that we know that just need to physically see other people.  Honk your horn and make a sign that says praying for you as you slowly drive by.  Often, that’s a pick-me-up for home-bound people that can’t get out or connect easily.

What about you? How have you tried to stay connected, engaged, in prayer and fellowship with your family, neighbors and brothers and sisters in Christ?

Do you remember the first Sunday of being quarantined when we didn’t have in-person service, but instead watched the worship and sermon live on Facebook?

I do.

I cried.

I didn’t imagine for a moment that this new kind of service (at least new to us) would ever be normal for our church, for our family, for our community; even temporarily. Maybe you felt the same way.

The truth is, the church has loved us, and so many others, through some hard seasons. Individually and collectively, the body of the church has been Jesus’ hands and feet to our family both in and out of church. They’ve prayed for, encouraged, and led us back to the truth again and again. Being away from that is painfully hard. Which is where I landed for a few crummy, lonely, “me-focused” days last week. Then I thought, maybe we aren’t as far away as I think we are?

As I talked with a friend earlier this week it occurred to me that virtually EVERYONE was feeling a new kind of loneliness (isn’t it great when you realize you aren’t the only one?) but not everyone was dealing with that experience in the same way.

In Galatians 6:2 it says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Which made me realize that I’ve thought about this quarantine, and my reaction to it, all wrong. While I’ve been busy thinking that I can’t physically come alongside my church family and friends right now, I’ve missed that I certainly lessen their burdens by being available, by finding ways to reach out and encourage; in short, by loving like Jesus does.

Then I had to figure out where to start! So, I reached out to a few friends who graciously shared some practical ways they have stayed in fellowship with friends, family and neighbors even when they couldn’t fellowship in person.

• My kids and I have painted rocks and hid them in neighbors’ yards to let them find later.
• We drove by homes of our small group members and texted them to come outside and we’d chat for a few minutes from a distance just to say hi.
• One thing a couple friends and I have done is make each other baskets of random goodies from around our houses (like books, snacks, tea, etc.) and drop it off at each other’s doorstep.
• For my daughter’s birthday our small group from church drove by as a parade with birthday signs and stopped to sing Happy Birthday.
• I’ve done zoom or Skype calls with friends!
• We use the “Marco Polo” app. It lets you record videos and send them to your friends within the app.  You can view them and respond anytime.  It’s nice to see faces and record funny messages, knowing you’ll make someone smile.
• We’ve sent “just because” cards and gifts.  It is so exciting and fulfilling to put something in the mail that we know will surprise someone we love.

• “Words With Friends” is an app we’ve tried. It’s like a never-ending scrabble game you can play with anyone, no matter where they are!
• Blocking out a half hour to place an intentional phone call has connected us more with people in our family who we do not see very often anyway.  One benefit to the current situation is having the time to place and enjoy these calls!
• A friend, myself and our kids are meeting today for a "car picnic." We'll each make lunch, park next to each other and visit with windows rolled down. The thought of another Zoom visit was just too depressing.
• A young friend of ours is turning 10 soon. His mom sent out invitations to drive by their home at the appointed time. We'll wave and holler and generally make a big to-do. It'll be a birthday parade!
• We walk in our neighborhood each day and make a point to chat (from a safe distance) with the people who might only get a nod during busier times.
• We've shared MCC's live services with my sister and brother-in-law who live out of state and don't have a church home. It feels as though we're attending church together for the first time! The resulting conversations about eternal matters remind us that is quarantine will pass and that this time can be used for His glory.
• MCC has been sending out daily prayer points, praying through those has kept my eyes open to the needs around us and reminded me that I am not alone.
• When a friend dropped something off at our house the other day, I stood outside her car and we talked through the car window for 30 minutes or so. I was surprised at how much better I felt after that drive-by visit!
• I'm part of a group text and one of us asks a general question - like favorite book or dessert or restaurant - and we all answer. We also use the text for prayer requests and funny memes, whatever. It's a way to get to know each other better and think about something else.

What amazing, beautiful responses to a difficult situation! Praise God for friends, family, and neighbors that not only stay connected during a crisis like this, but purposefully decide to strengthen their relationship through it! Check back tomorrow for more ideas on how to stay connected and to remain in fellowship during a time when staying apart almost seems easier.

Now it's your turn to share! What have you done to stay fellowship with your friends, family and neighbors these past few weeks!