Sean and I had tried for years to conceive and eventually went through the whole fertility testing process. We were told that we were able to get pregnant, but that it was unlikely. It was heartbreaking news. It took a couple of years before we decided that we were ready to adopt. We had discussed it many times and were both “open” to it, but I think we were always hopeful that I would get pregnant in the meantime!
Sean and I had tried for years to conceive and eventually went through the whole fertility testing process. We were told that we were able to get pregnant, but that it was unlikely. It was heartbreaking news. It took a couple of years before we decided that we were ready to adopt. We had discussed it many times and were both “open” to it, but I think we were always hopeful that I would get pregnant in the meantime!
Once we actually decided to start the adoption process, we looked first at the international avenues of adoption and the adoption of a baby through a private agency. At the same time, as I met with God daily, I felt him stirring in my heart the idea that He wanted us to adopt an older child. I easily dismissed this feeling because I WANTED A BABY. I fought it for months and then one night Sean came to me and told me that he felt God was prodding him (us) to consider adopting an older child(ren). Wow! It was clear from that point on that this is what we would do and we began the process of becoming licensed as foster parents so we could adopt through the State.
As we went through the training, classes, home study, etc., we still talked of adopting an older child in terms of a child age 2-5’ish. We had decided on a boy because the trainers scared Sean when they spoke about all the things that can happen when you adopt a girl. They warn of adoptive fathers having trouble with girls accusing them of different kinds of abuse (many because of what they’ve endured in the past). They warn fathers to keep journals of any time a touch or a hug may have taken place and been misconstrued as inappropriate, etc. Sean felt strongly that we should adopt a boy and I couldn’t blame him.
We completed our training and home study and became officially licensed foster parents. We had chosen to only accept “waiting children”, meaning that they were ready for adoption (parental rights had already been terminated). I was too scared to have a child in my home for any length of time only to have them taken away. I felt I had already endured so much heartache and did not think I was capable of that kind of situation. We told CYFD that we preferred a toddler boy because they highly encourage you to narrow it down to a specific sex, age, etc. I think they thought we were crazy because we kept telling them that we had NO idea what God had planned and we were mostly just willing to be obedient to whatever He laid in front of us. Still, to me, in my heart this meant a young boy and just one child (while Sean was open to a sibling group).
Shortly after our home study was finished, Sean got orders to deploy to Afghanistan for one year, putting everything on hold.
When he returned, we made sure everything was up-to-date with CYFD and a few months later told them that we were ready to be considered again. We went to a “slide show night” where the caseworkers show pictures of their kiddos and give little bios on them. At the end of the night, prospective parents turn in a list of kids they are interested in. We submitted the name of one little boy, Ezekiel, about age 5. About a week later, they notified us that he already had a prospective forever family. At that same slide show, a caseworker had spoken about a brother and sister who had just come up for adoption. She had no pictures and just a little bit of information about them. The boy was 16 and the girl was 10. Something about them sparked Sean’s interest. He mentioned it to me and I abruptly dismissed it. What in the world would I do with a 16-year old boy? It seemed, to me, more than I could handle!
After the prospect of Ezekiel fell through, Sean again mentioned this brother and sister duo. I really didn’t say anything, I just let him talk and then I let it go. After all, we had told CYFD that we wanted a toddler boy and so they would never even consider our home study for this pair of children. I didn’t need to worry about it. He brought them up a few other times, but it never went further than just casual conversation.
Come back next week to find out the rest of the story…..
