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I don't have any clear memories of praying by myself until I was 10 or so, when I started journaling prayers (probably because I saw my mom doing it all the time). I remember praying as a family before bed every night from the time I was 3 or 4, but I'm not sure when I started believing that God cared about MY prayers specifically. 

 

My grandpa Jim (who went home to Jesus in February 2024) was a beautiful picture of what it looks like to pray at all times/in all seasons. He would overflow with gratitude for the littlest things and quote Psalm 103 all the time (Bless the Lord, O My Soul!). He would "pray the blood of Jesus" over us frequently, especially when we were going into something scary. He would thank the Lord for "saving us out of darkness and setting our feet on THE rock". Whenever we were sick, he would come over and anoint us with oil "in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit". He and Grandma prayed (and Grandma continues to pray) for each of us grandkids every morning as part of their devotionals (actually all four of my grandparents did/do this, which is the richest blessing and makes me cry to think about). Jesus was Grandpa's best friend and so of course Grandpa talked to Him all the time. God answered so many of his prayers in big ways (that I got to see), but even when God's answer was no, Grandpa's relationship with God was the same. He knew God's love experientially and trusted him completely. He taught all of us to do the same. 

 

My biggest battle right now is being willing to set aside to-do lists or entertainment and make time to just be quiet. I love talking to God about things throughout the day, but I often don't leave time for Him to speak. I am learning to be quiet and listen to His promptings and to the scripture He brings to mind in difficult circumstances, so that I'm not relying on my own understanding (which is sketchy at best).

 

Wonder and fear are what most often prompt me to pray, which makes me sound like a Puritan who thinks God is usually angry, but that isn't true at all. I love being outside (especially at sunset); I love holding babies and being with little people; I love music and art and hugs and laughter, and whenever any of these things is just too beautiful or seems just too good to be true, I always feel that Jesus is delighting in my delight and smiling to see me smile. I love how God romances our hearts through beauty, and I praise Him for it. On the other end of the spectrum, I also run to Jesus when I'm dealing with panic attacks, anxiety about an upcoming situation, or fear for my own safety or someone else's. I often have to get alone for a few minutes and just pour out my heart to God and ask for his mercy with the problems I can't even begin to solve. Somehow, he ALWAYS solves them, which is lovely because it makes it so much easier to trust him with the next problem!

 

Morning and evening are best for me, before or after a long day of work or fun, when my mind either hasn't started spinning full speed yet or is beginning to slow down again. Walking outside or laying on my bed are usually the quietest places where I can get rid of other distractions and focus on the most important matters with Jesus.

 

I do pray before meals, even when alone, but sometimes very briefly and without much heart. I can work on that for sure. I also have avoided praying at a couple recent dinners with unbelieving friends, because I was afraid of making them feel awkward, which is sad when I think back on it because I'm sure there was a way to do it well. This is something I'm still trying to figure out and would love thoughts on!

 

Dallas Willard said something to the effect of, "Prayer is talking to God about what we are doing together." I really love that, because it sums up the relationship I saw between my Grandpa and Jesus. It takes a lot of the pressure off for me to think of anything impressive to pray about, because it reminds me that God cares about my little world and it's enough just to talk to him about that. 

 

I have not yet started any sort of prayer list, but I keep meaning to! I really have no organization at all when it comes to prayer, I tend to pray about things as God lays them on my heart. I would like to be more consistent though, especially with things I have committed to pray about for friends. Maybe that can be a new thing this year!

 

One time of prayer that jumps out to me is back in 2016 when our family was dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety. My brother said at the time that it felt like there was a dark cloud over our home and when he voiced that feeling to mom and dad they gathered all of us kids together for some spiritual warfare. We had a prayer from Christian Healing Ministries that we used as a jumping off point and then we just prayed over every aspect of our lives for quite awhile, probably a couple hours. We haven't done anything like that since, but the shift from that time was huge, though slow at first. God has brought so much joy and peace and healing to our home and we are now always on the alert to pray against attacks of the enemy as they come, and to pray TOGETHER whenever it's an option so we can team-up against the evil one. One other time that stands out is a day last year that I set aside to fast and pray and hike up in the mountains. If I'm honest, I don't like fasting or being alone, so I don't do either very often, but that day was so lovely and really just realigned my heart with what was most important. Most often, it's times like that day when I can set aside food, set aside people, get away into beauty and just let my heart be still that I am able to pray most easily. Scriptures come to mind, I can sing as many songs of praise as I like, and I can hear God way more easily than when I'm filling my head with other things.