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Transitions are tricky. I have been through many of them in my life—marriage, a child, then two and then three children, retirement, aging, becoming a widow. I launched our three children into the world and then watched them let go of our twelve grandchildren. I’m still not qualified to tell you how to navigate this particular season of motherhood, but I pray the Holy Spirit will use this letter to encourage you to cling to your Savior as you let go of your child. 

We are products of our theology. What we know about God will determine whether we flounder or flourish during transitions like these: 

“The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day” (Prov. 4:18).

“The righteous flourish like the palm tree . . . They are planted in the house of the LORD; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age . . .” (Psalm 92:12-15).

At age 83, I can testify to this forward movement of the gospel in our lives. My eyesight is weaker, but the path is brighter. My body is weaker, but my spirit flourishes. Because of God’s persevering grace, I know him better today than I did yesterday. In every transition I’ve faced as a mom, God never changed—but I continually change as I increasingly experience the reality of his presence. The biggest transition that determines our response to every transition is: “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30).  

This season of motherhood is fraught with unknowns. Yet, I encourage you to meditate on what you do know and reflect on the opportunities before you.

God created us for his glory. 

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world . . . to the praise of his glorious grace” (Eph. 1:3-6).

Our identity is not in our various roles or in our children’s success but in our triune God. We are his image-bearers created to reflect his glorious grace. The Westminster Shorter Catechism succinctly states, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.” This brilliant statement clarifies and simplifies life, even as our children leave the nest. Each morning, I’ve made it a practice to pray, “Lord, show me how to glorify and enjoy you in whatever you ordain for me today.” Dear mom, I encourage you too: ask the Lord to empower you to glorify and enjoy him in this letting-go season. 

We are to glorify God in our marriage. 

In preparation for this change in your parental role, talk and pray with your husband if you’re married. Take his hand and say, “‘Magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together!’ (Ps. 34:3) as we transition to this new season of parenting. Let’s help one another navigate this change with grace.” 

Prayerfully consider—together and individually—how you will re-allocate your time as daily responsibilities for your kids wind down. Ask the Lord to show you where and how he wants you to share your gifts and graces with others. Consider spiritually mothering young moms, spending more time caring for aging parents, going on mission trips together, or discipling young couples.  

Agree together how you will relate to your child—who is now an adult. (For example, if you are still paying some or all of his bills, what accountability will you expect from him?) Entrust your child to Jesus and communicate with her with grace. The primary teaching time is past, but consider the words of the psalmist:

“You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great. You gave a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip” (Psalm 18:35-36).

Support . . . gentleness . . . wide place. These can characterize our role with our kids in the letting-go season.

Two realities I must mention: you may be a single mom, or you may be experiencing alienation from a child who is walking in disobedience. This adds to the pain of letting go. I pray the next three “things you know” will comfort and strengthen you. 

As God’s beloved children, we have access to his throne of grace. 

During our children’s teen years, a friend told me about praying Scripture for her son. I was immediately convicted. I realized I prayed about our children’s behavior and not their hearts. So, I asked the Lord to teach me to pray. 

My heart was drawn to Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3:14-21. For almost four decades now, I have prayed this passage for those the Lord entrusted to my husband and me. The list has grown as our children married, then had children. I don’t want my prayers to be limited by what I can imagine, so I ask the Lord to do “far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us” (v. 20). 

I trust God and not myself, so I pray for his kingdom to come and his will to be done in their hearts (Matt. 6:10). As I pray Scripture, I see more of the bigness and hope of the gospel. My imagination and my joy soar as I think about him answering in his way and his time for each of the people I hold before him. 

No matter what choices your children make out on their own, cling to what you know about God. Our actions as moms do profoundly shape our children’s lives, so we want to continue taking responsibility, seeking forgiveness for our mistakes, and remaining humble to grow. Yet, we are not ultimately responsible for our children’s wrong choices, and we cannot change their hearts—but we can prayerfully entrust them to the Lord, who proved his love by giving his Child to die in our place. 

God has given us outward means of grace—his Word, prayer, worship, sacraments, and fellowship. 

Ask the Holy Spirit to use these outward means of grace to strengthen your inner being during this transition—that you might grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus. The Lord has given us himself and adopted us into his family. Cultivate gospel friendships with those who will pray with and for you and your child. Seek the wisdom and prayers of spiritual mothers who are ahead of you in parenting. This will be especially important when your child goes through hard places.    

The Lord is writing your story and your child’s story, and he has not finished either one. 

When a mom shares her grief about hard things in her grown child’s life, I listen and then say, “I am sad with you. Your focus is on your child, but I see what the Lord is doing in you. I see you grieving but not as one without hope. I see you trusting him. I see you growing in him as he writes his story of grace in you, and I pray he will give you grace to trust him to accomplish his good plan in your child’s life.” 

Recently, a grandchild asked what I would change if I could rewrite my story. My response: “Nothing, because it took, and is taking, everything—the times of rejoicing and the times of weeping—to accomplish God’s purpose. Nothing is random. Nothing is wasted. God ordains it all for his glory and my good. Jesus writes long stories. They are good stories. They are redemptive stories.”

RisenMotherhood. A Letter for the Letting Go Years. July 31, 2023. Susan Hunt

https://www.risenmotherhood.com/articles/a-letter-for-the-letting-go-years

It’s that time of year again. Yellow buses practice their circuitous routes, stores brim with school supplies, and teachers adorn their rooms with inviting bulletin boards and welcoming smiles. Back to school is officially upon us.

I ended the summer reading through the Psalms and Proverbs. As I drank in the wisdom of these two books, certain passages in particular have encouraged and directed my hopes for my children as they head back to school. These verses have shaped my prayers and given words to the longings of my heart. As my children spend less time in my presence, I am thankful that I can bring all my concerns and cares before the Lord in prayer.

Lord, I pray that my children would understand their need for Jesus and rejoice in the good news of the Gospel. Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation. Our God is a God of salvation, and to GOD, the Lord, belong deliverances from death (Psalms 68:19-20).

Lord, I pray that my children will love learning; that their hearts would seek to understand the world you have created.  The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly (Proverbs 15:14).

I pray that as they learn about your world, they would behold the majesty of your glory. The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge. (Psalm 19:1)

Lord, I pray that you would surround them with friends who make wise choices and encourage their faith.  Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm (Proverbs 13:20).

I pray that their teachers would be wise and gentle.  The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit (Proverbs 15:2,4).

Lord, I pray that they would work with diligence and put forth their best efforts. The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied (Proverbs 13:4).

I pray that they would be thoughtful with their words and respectful in their replies. The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things (Proverbs 15:28). 

I pray that you would free them from the pressure of trying to be like everyone else by instilling in them the confidence to know that they are uniquely made by you.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well (Psalms 139:14).

I pray that they would receive correction well.  The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence (Proverbs 15:31-32).

I pray that they would share their faith with others.  They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom and tell of your power, to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds, and the glorious splendor of your kingdom (Psalm 145: 11-12).

I pray that when they do what is wrong, they would bear consequences that lead them to repentance.  I pray that when they do what is right, you would bless their obedience that they may learn to love your ways. The backslider in heart will be filled with the fruit of his ways, and a good man will be filled with the fruit of his way (Proverbs 14:14).

I pray that your Word would be on their hearts and in their minds as they learn. Whoever gives thought to the word will discover good, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD (Proverbs 16:20).

I pray that they would be kind to others.  Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor. (Proverbs 21:21)

I pray that you would give them the grace of self-control. A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls (Proverbs 25:28).

Lord, I pray that your grace would rest upon my children. Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands! (Psalms 90:17)

I pray that you would protect them from all evil.  I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?  My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life (Psalm 121:1-2,7).

More than anything else, may their lives glorify you. I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever (Psalm 86:12).

O Lord, hear our prayers!  Amen.

TheGospelCoalition. A Back to School Prayer. August 30, 2016. Melissa Kruger

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/melissa-kruger/a-back-to-school-prayer/

“I told her that you were my mentor when I was younger and that you saved my life!”  These were the surprising words that Tasha shared with me at lunch. We had “accidentally” run into each other after more than 20 years in the Wal-Mart where she works. She was telling me how she explained my presence in her life to her supervisor at work. I was shocked to hear Tasha’s description of our relationship – especially since we had lost touch so long ago. At the same time, this encounter further encouraged me to keep pursuing our vision for mentoring at Juntos. 

Did you know? Seventy-five percent of American adults who had a mentor growing up say that this relationship was a major contributor to their success in life. Sixty-seven percent of young people say that they remember a time when they didn’t have a mentor and they needed one.  The statistics go on and on – we all need mentors to walk alongside us! (mentoring.org)

At Juntos we regularly have opportunities to mentor on all levels. High school kids mentor younger kids in their small groups at our regular Rally Nights by sharing and memorizing scripture, praying together and helping them navigate relationships and hard (or exciting!) situations. College kids and young adults mentor middle school and high school youth as they volunteer side by side, attend their sports or school events, read the Bible together and encourage and build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Adults mentor all ages of young people as they share not only their experiences, but all of the ways that the Lord has worked in their own lives.

Juntos is intentionally designed for these mentoring relationships to form, but we are seeing the importance and potential impact of a much more intentional mentoring program. Our goal is for our Juntos students to be rooted, built up and established in their faith (Colossians 2:6-7), especially in a world that is rapidly changing and presenting many challenges and opportunities. This next year we will be looking for more ways in which our young leaders can mentor the children from their own families and neighborhoods. Additionally, we are developing an official community-based mentoring program in partnership with an existing ministry from Denver. We will be asking Jesus-following adults from outside of Juntos to invest significant time into some of our children and young people. We trust that through these efforts children will be more deeply rooted in their relationship with the Lord, parents and family members will see the truth of the Gospel, and the Lord will be praised and glorified by many!

Laura Jenkins has been involved with Juntos since 2005 and currently serves as the director. Juntos offers weekly meetings, summer programs, leader training, small group Bible studies, tutoring, and mentoring for kids in the International District of Albuquerque. If you’d like more information about serving with Juntos, call the Mountain Christian Church office.

I recently traveled to South Asia to join Genesis of Hope for a day camp and women’s events. We visited three children’s centers serving some of the poorest communities in a large city. It was a great time to build relationships with our GOH partners and encourage believers in the community. 

Our first stop was Shahabhad, where MCC provides annual support for daily operations—paying teachers, maintaining the building, and serving nutritious meals for up to 80 students. Two years ago, MCC also gave a gift to repair a leaking ceiling and add a new upstairs room. This larger space now allows all the children to gather comfortably for programs.

We spent the morning singing songs the children had learned during summer camp (VBS). One song, written by staff, reminded them that being like Jesus is better than being a cricket or Bollywood star. We then shared a story about a king who lacked self-control, destroyed his city’s walls, and later sought wisdom and forgiveness from the King of Kings. The children made pop-up books to remember key points before we served lunch. GOH has also hired a music teacher at Shahabhad, which has greatly improved the atmosphere and attitudes of the children. Continue to pray for the staff and the children in each of the GOH centers. 

That evening we visited a church led by a GOH staff member. The women gathered for a Bible study on Romans 12. Many face deep challenges, including abuse for attending church. In South Asia, abuse of all kinds against women is widespread, underreported, and rarely prosecuted. Women often work tirelessly at home with few freedoms and many obstacles. It was a blessing to encourage and pray with these believers. Some have since begun meeting regularly together for prayer. Until now, women in this church have not met to lead other women to study the Bible or pray. Pray that they would continue to meet together and they would study the word of God. 

For three days we repeated this pattern—visiting children’s centers and women’s groups. One center works with Afghani refugees who face added challenges as outsiders. Women there live under strict cultural limits, often unable to work outside the home and required to wear burkas. At GOH they are learning tailoring skills and finding creative ways to help their families. Pray they come to know the love and freedom found in Christ.

At the end of our trip, we made tacos for a group of university students. Before the meal, Ravi (our partner with GOH) led a study on James 3. We met a young woman named Shambhavi, who joined us for sightseeing on our last day. We spent the day sharing the gospel and answering her many questions about the Bible. We left feeling as though we had known her much longer than two days. Pray she comes to believe that Jesus is the only way to the Father.

It is a privilege to support workers in South Asia and an even greater privilege to visit and work alongside of them. Please pray for Ravi and Caitlin, Ramesh and Gloria, and the entire staff of GOH. They are faithful workers serving in a country that is not amiable to the gospel. Pray for the believers in South Asia to continue in boldness; pray for their safety and for a deep understanding of the Lord and the word of God. I am encouraged and challenged every time I have been able to go serve alongside GOH. Pray that we would live with the same urgency to share our hope and faith with those in our circles.

Several years ago, I decided I wanted to do some in-depth Bible studying. At that time, my mother introduced me to some great material that helped me study better individually. I shared this information with my dear friend Bernadette Gutierrez and she mentioned a Community Group at Mountain Christian Church and the Bible study they were doing at that time. During that time period, the group met in members’ homes and Bernadette was hosting when I first checked them out. 

I was also having a lot of questions and searching because of changes in the church I was raised in. Bernadette mentioned that meeting with Pastor Frank might help me with those challenges. We met and his help was invaluable and continues to be so. Shortly after checking out the Community Group, I became a frequent attendee and am now very involved with that group – that was about four years ago. As a result of getting to know the families in that group and my discussions with Frank, I also started coming to Sunday services and became more active in the church. 

Next this led me to joining Pam Cravens’ Women’s Community Bible Study group. The ladies in this group have become sisters in Christ for me and we stay in contact throughout the year (not just during active studies). Our group has grown in the last year and I feel like God has put us all together to support each other in challenging times and times of praise.

The next group I found was the Women’s Discipleship Group and I have now been with them for about two years and found the same sisterhood with them. 

One of the things that the Community Group, also known as the Wednesday Warriors, has done for the last several years is support the Shine winter food boxes. This experience brought my husband and me ways to be more involved in various outreach programs at MCC. One of the things that draws us to MCC is how much the church family supports the local community and we love being part of this. This led to us being involved in the preparations for VBS this year. 

Thanks to all the wonderful people I have met through these three groups I have found the following answers to my prayers:

• the church family that I have been seeking most of my life
• a wonderful way to continue my study of God’s Word (both individually and with my three small groups)
• a wonderful way to be more involved in outreach for our East Mountain Community and the opportunities to “pay it forward”

Our dear Lord and Savior is wonderful and has brought us so many blessings through the wonderful small groups and church family at Mountain Christian Church.

If you'd like more information on the small groups offered at MCC, contact Cruz Talamantes.